I'm Ready!

I'm ready! ready for what tash?
ready for everything, ready to forget you, ready to forget our memories, ready to see you with another girl --> for this I'm not sure ya :p, but I'll try it :)
I'm ready for all possibilities that will come.
I'm ready to not cry as usual, I'm ready to see you without remembering our memories.
Essentially, I'm ready to move on!
I said this doesn't mean I've to get someone to replace for you, ohoho I don't like you.
I try to not to think of you when I heard the song always be my baby -> you give me this song, I remember
and also when I heard the song when I'm with you and officially yours, remember? I always tell you to listen to this song haha
but now I don't care!
honestly, sometimes I still think about you and miss you.
I sometimes miss it when you smiled, hugged me and kissed me, maybe I will not forget it -_-
but only that, I don't love you anymore like the last time I said it to you.
people who have hurt me, I don't remember, I better forget
difficult? yaeh it's difficult.
but if I didn't try, when I can move on?
cry? already too many tears for you wkwk
find someone else to replace you?
sorry, I can't like that.
waiting you to come back? iuh waste my time.
I think you're a hypocrite and a pussy, oops sorry I said that.
but that's reality.
why a hypocrite?
because once you tell me you hate her.
but now? hahaha well I don't want to say it, too bad
and why I say you are 'queer'?
because you can only insult me on twitter. ha? why you can't say it in front of me?
okay, I tired to deal with your character.
I would rather forget you.
I'm ready to enjoy my new plain life! * Really, really plain without my memories about -----*
My way to forget you is block your acc, and never saw your profile again.
okay, maybe this is my last post about you, about 23. maybe lho ya :p, I don't promise :p hehehe

I'm Gonna Find Another You

I'm Gonna Find Another You - John Mayer

It's really over, you made your stand
You got me crying, as was your plan
But when my loneliness is through, I'm gonna find another you

You take your sweaters
You take your time
You might have your reasons but you will never have my rhymes
I'm gonna sing my way away from blue
I'm gonna find another you

When I was your lover
No one else would do
If I'm forced to find another, I hope she he looks like you
Yeah and she's he's nicer too
So go on baby
Make your little get away
My pride will keep me company
And you just gave yours all away
Now I'm gonna dress myself for two
Once for me and once for someone new
I'm gonna do somethings you wouldn't let me do
Oh I'm gonna find another you

I really love this song, John Mayer I <3>
my move on song! SEE? I can! I must move on! I can move on like you boy :p dont worry :D

:3

gue mau post tentang 3 barang yg ada di kamar gue.

yang pertama adalah, kotak musik ini. hmm sebenernya bukan kotak musik sih, kan bentuknya ga kotak. tapi udah lah gue seneng manggilnya gitu. Ini tuh dikasih sama ya adalah, tidak perlu dibahas. pokok nya yg paling gue suka dari ini adalah ada sprinke-sprinkle nya kalo malem terus gue taro deket lampu jadi lucu deh. oh ya satu lagi, suara dari sini selalu bikin gue tenang. s-e-l-a-l-u ♥

Ini dia yg gue maksud :

Yang kedua adalah ini, my teddy bear. Ini empuk cekaleee deh, enak banget kalo dipeluk buat tidur. jadi gue kalo mau tidur selalu meluk ini. gue mau ngasih nama ke boneka ini, tapi masih bingung, temen gue si anith bilang kalo namanya tuh *pip* aja. ah tapi gamau deh, kapan bisa move on kalo namanya dia -_- makanya kalo ada yg mau usul nama kasih tau gue ya! mention di @tasha_kartika (twitter)

LOOK, SO CUTE <3333>

dan yang terakhir boneka ku tersayang mybaby muah :* call her MINNIE :)
boneka ini gue dapet dari 'you-know-who* waktu ultah gue, harusnya ada mickey nya, tapi mickey nya ada di *you-know-who* udah dibuang kali sama dia --" ah tapi lupakanlah. yg jelas boneka ini gue sayang banget, padahal tuh abis putus bonekanya gue taro lemari, tp akhirnya gue jd susah tidur gitu *lebih ya gue* tapi emang kenyataannya gitu. yaudah gue ambil aja lagi, lagipula ga ada salahnya kan? lagipula waktu itu dia ngasih buat gue kan? yasudah sampe sekarang masih gue simpen bonekanya. bukan karena gue gamau move on atau apalah, tapi karena emang gue sayang + suka sama bonekanya BUKAN orang yang ngasihnya.

SEE? gue sayang banget sama ini :*

Look! My teddy & Minnie :)

I can't

ohmy, I'm sorry I cant -_-
I cant forget you 'till now, I know you hate me, you move on, you have 'new' girlfriend.
I know, I know!
but, tell me boy why I cant forget you like you forget me?
you've made me like a fool for loving you.
one thing I know 'you teach me how to love you, miss you. but you NEVER teach me how to forget you'
my friend says' when you can move on if you keep talking about him? " and I realized, I'm stupid like this.
my friend was right, how can I move on if I continue like this?
I like this doesn't mean I didn't try.
I always try to forget you, ALWAYS!
but sometimes if I'm alone, and there when I miss you, when I can't forget you, when I want you there.
but, at the time with my friends, I laugh as usual, like nothing happened.
and next? I'm okay, I'm good, very good.
especially when I'm with Playmates, maybe I dont remember you at all
but when I'm alone and lonely at night, there was the time I remember you. because, usually you who accompanied me if my state of being alone like that.
and now? there's no you.
What I regret my decision to break up with you? the answer is NO.
I dont regret it, I just missed.
only that and nothing more.
I never ask you come back to me again, dont worry about that ;)
I just feel lonely when I'm alone and remember you.
but calm, I'm trying to move on like you :)
I dont want to keep hurting myself like this, you can move on tash :)

my song part III

I love you but it’s not so easy to make you here with me
I wanna touch and hold you forever
But you’re still in my dream
And I can’t stand to wait ‘till nite is coming to my life
But I still have a time to break a silence
When you love someone
Just be brave to say that you want him to be with you
When you hold your love
Don’t ever let it go
Or you will loose your chance
To make your dreams come true
(When You Love Someone - Endah N Resa)

Where are you now, what have you found
Where is your heart, when I'm not around
Where are you now, you gotta let me know
(Where Are You Know - Britney Spears)

its hard for me to say I'm sorry
I just want you to know
hold me now
I really wanna tell you I'm sorry
(Hard To Say I'm Sorry - Boyz II Men)

Sometimes you move so well
It's hard not to give in
I'm lost, I can't tell
Where you end and I begin
(If I Never See Your Face Again - Maroon 5)

If I don't need you, then why am I crying on my bed?
I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
(If You're Not The One - Daniel Bedingfield)
Jika cinta dia jujurlah padaku
Tinggalkan aku disini tanpa senyumanmu
Jika cinta dia ku coba mengerti
(Jika Cinta Dia - Geisha)

Pergilah bersamanya disana
dengan dia yg ada segalanya
bersenang-senanglah sepuasanya
biarkan disini ku menyendiri
(Ingin Hilang Ingatan - Rocket Rockers)

I've exposed your lies
The underneath is no big surprise
Now it's time for changing
And cleansing everything
(Plug In Baby - Muse)

It's a little too late for you to come back
Say it's just a mistake
Think I'd forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong
But you're just a boy
You don't understand
You don't listen to her
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
'Cause you're taking her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
(If I Were A Boy - Beyonce)

See? you hurt me like this.
please, you make me cry you know?
You may not realize, all you have done? ha? not realize?
sensitive bit boy, please.
do you like her? leave me.
simple, just leave me alone.
that's what you want it? and you want her?
you said 'if I had a girlfriend, I would be more loving my girlfriend'
stupid! you say it in front of me!
you don't understand how the pain? at least, please DON'T say it in front of me. N-E-V-E-R!
if you love her, leave me. please don't torture me like this.
don't you know I cry? I know, you don't care if I cry, I'd better shut up right?
no one knows I'm crying, I hide it from everyone.
I don't want you to know I'm crying, I knew I was just a whiny, spoiled, and selfish.
I don't want to hurt her anymore, she's my friend. I really feel bad. I'm sorry, once again I'm sorry but I can not hide my feelings, sorry.
sorry I was too hurt you, sorry :(
she's better than me, I'm sure :)
choose her, I happy for you if you with her, I pray for you :)

my song part II

You're the only one
That makes it feel like home
And I need you in my life
When you're not around I'm feeling
Like a piece of me is missing
When it feels like the day is closing in
Somehow I find the faith
To make it through
When I'm with you
(When I'm With You - Westlife)
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more
(Dont Love You No More - Craig David)

To say I'm in love with you
I'm officially everything you hope that I would be
This time I'll tell the truth
I'm officially wrong I know
For letting you go the way I did
Unconditionally more than I ever was before
I'm officially yours
(Officially Yours - Craig David)
It is love from the first
Time I pressed my hand to yours
Thinking, "Oh, is it love?"
(Oh It Is Love - Hello Goodbye)

You'll always be part of me
I'm part of your indefinitely
Boy, don't you know you can escape me
Oh darling, cause you'll always be my baby
(Always Be My Baby - David Cook)

since I Found You My World Seems So Brand New
you've Show Me The Love I Never Knew
your Presence Is What My Whole Life Through
since I Found You My Life Begin So New
now Who Needs A Dream When There Is You
for All Of My Dreams Came True
since I Found You
(Since I found You - Christian Bautista)
You found somebody who does it better than he can
No more making you cry
No more them gray skies
Girl we flying on a g-5, g-5
And we're leavin' never looking back again
(Leavin - Jesse McCartney)

You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You could be the one I'll always love
(Unintended - Muse)

Hapuslah cinta antara kita berdua
Karena kau sudah ada yg punya
Biarlah diriku memendam rasa ini
Jauh di lubuk hatiku
(Soulvibe - Biarlah "Hapuslah Cinta")

I love you, baby and if it's quite alright,
I need you, baby to warm the lonely nights.
(Cant Take My Eyes Off You - Muse)

Cause, I can’t keep on feelin’ the way I do
I can’t keep on, hiding my heart from you
I got to say something before
Someone else comes through,
I can’t keep on loving you,
From a distance
(Cant Keep On Loving You - Elliott Yamin)

my song

Leona Lewis - Happy

Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose
You can’t have everything

Don’t you take chances
You might feel the pain
Don’t you love in vain
’cause love won’t set you free

I can’t stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy
But safe as could be

So what if it hurts me?
So what it I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge,
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
I just trying to be happy
I just wanna be happy, yeah

Holding on tightly
Just can’t let go
Just trying to play my role
Slowly disappear

But all these days
They feel like they’re they’re same
Just different faces
Different place
Get me out of here

I can’t stand by the side
Ooh, no
And watch this life pass me by
Pass me by

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge?
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
I’m just trying to be happy

Oh, happy
Oh

So when it turns that I can see???
This rope??
Victim??
Don’t say anything

Officially Missing You - Tamia

All I hear is raindrops
Falling on the rooftop
Oh baby tell me why’d you have to go
Cause this pain I feel
It wont go away
And today I’m officially missing you
I thought that from this heartache
I could escape
But I fronted long enough to know
There ain’t no way
And today
I’m officially missing you

Oh can’t nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do
Hey baby say it stays on my mind
And I, I’m officially

All I do is lay around
Two years full of tears
From looking at your face on the wall
Just a week ago you were my baby
Now I don’t even know you at all
I don’t know you at all
Well I wish that you would call me right now
So that I could get through to you somehow
But I guess it’s safe to say baby safe to say
That I’m officially missing you

Well I thought I could just get over you baby
But I see that’s something I just can’t do
From the way you would hold me
To the sweet things you told me
I just can’t find a way
To let go of you

It official
You know that I’m missing you
Yeah yes
All I hear is raindrops
And I’m officially missing you

I'm sorry

I apologize for making you jealous, I n-e-v-e-r mean to do it. N-E-V-E-R

Sorry I made you cry, ohmy I'm so sorry girl. I feel very guilty to you now -_-

ya allah, maafin gue deh ya udah bikin lo kaya gitu.

demi apapun deh, ngga pernah ada maksud gue bikin lo kaya gini -_-

maaf semaaf maafnya ya :(

the truth is 'gue sayang dia' tapi karena dia kakak gue.

ga lebih dari sayang gue ke temen2 yang lain.

kalo lo baca post gue yg sebelum ini, lo tau perasaan gue gimana.

gue yakin lo ngga bakal kaya gini.

kalo lo tau sayang gue ke siapa, maafin gue deh, gue tuh ngga pernah maksud kaya gini.

gue deket ya cuma sebagai kakak adek kok ga lebih, tolong percaya sama gue.

keep friendly oke?

I'm so sorry, gue akan coba ngejauh mungkin

I miss

I miss my own Austin so damn much

I miss my 23

I miss someone who gave me this doll

I miss someone who gave me a surprise on my birthday

I miss someone who called me every night

I miss someone who says 'good night honey, I love you so much'

Honestly, I miss everything about you, about us

but now, austin NOT mine anymore, 23 = DEAD.

yayaya, dia bukan punya gue lagi. sadar lu tash! mimpi mulu -_-

tapi sekarang, I really miss my Austin -_-

emang sih lo beda banget sama Austin yg di Titanium, but for me, you're my Austin.

that's why I miss you <3 div="">

kangen b-a-n-g-e-t.

tau kangen ga lu? tau ga? kangen gue sama lu :p

sadar ga? nggak ya? yasudahlah kalo ngga sadar.

malah lebih bagus lo ngga sadar ya daripada lo sadar gue malah sakit hati -_-

lo kan udah move on, lo ngata2in gue malah.

oke, lo ngatain gue bales ngatain.

itu baru adil! lo yg mulai, tapi gue ngga nyangka aja lo bisa sejahat itu sama gue.

sumpah deh, tapi tenang aja gue bisa bales kok *tapi kalo gue bisa ya -_-*

I miss you - Boyz II Men

I've been feeling this emptiness for sometime
Trying make do
But my world has been so crazy
Living without u
I'm a man not ashamed to admit my falls
Now that I know
But the only thing that matters now I should have never let u go
Now every night before I go to sleep, I pray That the lord would someday some how
Send u back my way
Baby I miss u I need to be back in your arms
I've never stopped loving u
My heart is where u belong
Baby I miss u
And for heaven and earth pass away
Lord please show me what to do
Tell me what to say
Cause we've come to far to let it slip away
Cause we've come to far to let it slip away
Couldn't understand many things in my life
And what u meant to me
Now I'm prepared to be everything that a man Is suppose to be
I don't wanna be alone no more
So then my heart can take it
That weeks have past
Since you've been gone
That I've thought that I could make it
Oh baby
So every night before I go to sleep, I pray
That the lord would one day somehow
Bring u back my way

Baby I miss u
I need to be back in your arms
I've never stopped loving u
My heart is where u belong
Baby I miss u
And for heaven and earth pass away
Lord please show me what to do
Tell me what to say
Cause we've come to far to let it slip away
Cause we've come to far to let it slip away

Baby don't know what else to say or do
Its hard to get through every night and everyday
Knowing I had u walk away
Its killing me inside
Feeling so strong I can't hide
So lord help me get through trying times
I'll do anything to have u back in my life
Baby I miss u
I need to be back in your arms
I've never stopped loving u
My heart is where u belong
Baby I miss u
And for heaven and earth pass away Lord please show me what to do
Tell me what to say
Cause we've come to far to let it
Baby I miss u
I need to be back in your arms
I've never stopped loving u
My heart is where u belong
Baby I miss u
And for heaven and earth pass away
Lord please show me what to do
Tell me what to say
Cause we've come to far to let it
Baby I miss u

*that song for you*

after

HELL-O!
eh iya, gue mau ngasih tau kalo gue putus lagi dengan "you-know-who" --> belum tau? baca post gue sebelumnya.
oh iya, FYI gue milih pilihan yang ke 3. gue bilang kan gue maunya milih yang 1, tapi kenyataannya gue malah milih yang ke 3.
tanya kenapaaaaaaa? KARENA dia sudah kelihatan tidak sayang lagi kepadakuuu~
nah terus kan kalo pacaran harus saling sayang kan? iya kan?
tapi kalo yang satu udah ngga sayang sama yg lain jadinya apa? makan hati kan?
ujung2nya kalo di pertahanin apa? putus juga kan?
kalo putus ujung2nya apa? lo seneng kan? lo bebas kan?
dan yg paling sering apa? gue juga yang NANGIS kan?
nah lho, sama aja kan ujung2nya?
daripada gue nangis nya terus2an tiap hari sampe mata gue bengep, mending sekarang selesainya. lo seneng kita selesai, gue? nangis mah pasti TAPI ngga se-histeris dulu.
nah, berarti sekarang anda bebas dong? iya sekarang saya juga bebas main sama sahabat2 saya tanpa takut anda marah atau anda cemburu.
tapi sayangnya, saya masih sayang anda -_-
lah bego lu tash kalo masih sayang kenapa diputusin! tulul!
ya abis gimana, kan tadi saya bilang dia sudah tidak sayang saya lagi -_-
dan dia kira gue mau move on ke 'one of my friend' yg bernama blablabla.
hello boy, gue tuh ngga suka ya sama dia, kalo gue suka mah udah dari kemaren2 gue pacarin, tapi sekarang apa? gue masih sayang kan sama lo, walaupun lo benci sama gue!
gue ngga bisa benci lo kaya lo benci gue, gue bilang gue mau move on, tapi susah taugalu? apalagi liat lo tiap hari -_-
gue maunya tuh kita putus bisa jadi temen, tapi apa? lo malah remove acc gue, lo malah benci gue. kalo tau kaya gini mungkin lebih baik gue ga usah kenal lo kali ya -_- but, thanks for teaching me that love does exist.

abis putus gue langsung baca 4 buku *sebenernya ngga ada hubungan juga sih*
1. Titanium *again*
2. Autumn In Paris
3. Hai Miiko!
4. Reffrain
tapi entah kenapa abis putus baca 4 buku itu langsung gue mikir 'mau ya punya pacar kaya cowok yg ada di novel itu' ea ngayal abis.

di buku Titanium, ada cowok namanya Austin, ah gila ngarep banget gue punya cowok yg baiknya nauzubileh kaya dia *oke berlebihan* dia tuh orangnya "talk LESS do MORE" ga banyak omong, tapi sekali ngelakuin bisa bikin speechless. Kalo cowok sekarang "talk MORE do LESS!" makanya romijn itu beruntung banget dapet cowok kaya austin *yaiyalah siapa yang ngga mau*

di buku ke2, yaitu autumn in paris, ada cowok namanya Tatsuya, ohmy ini orang bener-bener 1 diantara sejuta kali yak o_O setia parah, terus rela berkorban, dia lebih baik dia yang sakit daripada harus ngeliat Tara nangis, jarang banget kan cowok kaya gitu? yang ada sekarang cowok malah kebanyakan bikin cewek nangis.

buku ke3 adalah komik Hai Miiko, di komik ini ada Tappei. Ya walaupun dia itu jail banget sama miiko, tapi sebenernya tuh dia sayang sama miiko, cuma gengsi aja nunjukin nya. kalo miiko susah tappei tuh selalu ada, nih S-E-L-A-L-U ada, bahkan waktu miiko ngga bilang ke tappei kalo dia butuh tappei, tapi tappei selalu siap sedia buat miiko.

dan yang terakhir adalah reffrain, disini ada Nata. Nata sama Niki itu sahabatan dari kecil, nata tuh selalu sayang niki, tapi niki gatau kalo sayang nya nata itu lebih dari sahabat, nata sampe bikinin lagu buat niki teris dikirim pas hari valentine, tapi niki gatau kalo itu dari nata, pas nata pergi ke amrik baru deh niki sadar kalo sebenernya dia tuh sayang banget sama nata. dan ternyata nata balik dari amrik dan dia masih sayang sama niki walaupun udah kepisah 5 tahun, sayangnya buat niki ngga berubah sedikitpun.

SEE? betapa jarangnya cowok kaya mereka! kalo mau lebih lengkap mending baca deh bukunya *PROMOSI*

sampai disini dulu ya postingnya, bubye~

3 choice

I got 3 choices for our relationship, especially for you.

1. we continue our relationship, but we both changed.

2. we break for a while, and we continued again, wait until you're not bored

3. we end our relationship.

I certainly don't want to choose option number 3, I choose option 1.

but you?

I'm sure you want to try option 3.

What don't you ever feel?

I'm tired you like this, you don't notice me, not giving me attention, you didn't care about what happens to me, you don't give me a message or call.

like you don't need me anymore.

I can't say this directly in front of you, I can only write it, because I know if I say directly to you, you must think I'm selfish and you'd be mad.

YOU WRONG! you are selfish!

you know? s-e-l-f-i-s-h!

you are too childish

you are only concerned with what you feel, but you never think how I feel.

hey boy, I'm your girlfriend, not your toy.

I have a feeling, I have a heart.

you should be thinking "a little" about my feelings.

yesterday, I really need your help, but you can't, you don't exist,

What I never asked for help? Why would I ever?

I only ask you to accompany me to go, only that

but what? what you can?

NO! you can't!

you know? at the time yesterday that I feel you don't love me anymore.

as we celebrate 4 months, you don't speak to me at all.

"I love you, I want us to lasting 'blah, that's a BIG bullshit!

I don't need the words, I just want you to indicate "yes, I need you, I care about you"

only that

I guess you want us to break again, ohmy I do not want it: (

but what the hell am I like this, you wouldn't care. I want to follow you, oh please I don't cry, it's too much pain and tears that I give to you.