boring

♥ I just want to say thank you. Even though you tore out my heart and stomped on it, I didn't believe I could love anyone until I met you. So thank you for teaching me that love does exist.
♥ I stil love you with every inch of my heart. I can't get you out of my mind. DAMN
♥ I honestly don't know how to describe how I feel about you other than love.
I fell in love at you the first time I ever saw you. I saw you in my classroom. I love you. It doesn’t even matter that you will never love me back.
♥ I used to believe we really were in love.
Now that means nothing. You always had your eyes on another girl, but I believed you still loved me. We’re done now, and you told me it’s because of different reasons. Now you’re with that girl, and act like you don’t care about me AT ALL. I can’t stand to see you any longer.
♥ I just wish we would stop all the bullshit. End all of our stubborn thoughts! And actually say what we mean! REALLY, I'm tired of it all!
You won’t read this, and I probably won’t either, but here goes nothing. I'm in love with you, and I have been for a long time. but I'm afraid to wait for you this long. We both know that we can do it, you just have to trust me. You say you do, but it’s time to grab my hand and jump.
♥ You just keep me hanging on.
Time and again, you tell me how much in love you are with your girlfriend. I sometimes wonder if you hate me and are doing this on purpose and are just trying to hurt me. I honestly don’t know what it’s going to solve, but maybe ust let you have the satisfaction of breaking a young girl’s heart.
♥ I'm feeling worse and worse each day and I can't tell him.
I keep making him believe that things are getting better. Every day things get worse. I really don’t know what to do . I’m so unhappy. Why can’t he notice?
♥ I keep updating my twitter status. I want you to notice me so bad.
♥ You broke up with me. I liked you a lot, it hurt. We got back together. But now, you want to break up AGAIN with me. To be honest, I hope we do break up. I'm not so sure about us anymore, and I don't know if I can trust you
♥ Seeing you today made me realize how much greater you are than I could ever be. But I love how you are completely oblivious. I need someone like you in my life, especially now.
♥ I don't want to be your best friend anymore for the fact that later on in life, we won't be best friends & that KILLS me. Since you graduated, it hurts that i won't be able to talk to you when ever I can

bye xoxo :*

♥

love.
is not how you forget, but how you forgive.
love.
not you heard, but how you understand
love
is not what you see, but what you feel
love
is not how you let go, but how you survive.

* I thought you were the one person that I didn't have to be scared of and that wouldn't judge me. Really, you judge me more than anyone I've ever known. Thank you for making me more self-conscious. p.s. I wasn't "ignoring" you. I'm just the only one who knows when to stop.

* I wish you weren't an only-child so you would be able to suffer from this loneliness that I am suffering from, so you would want me back because I want you back, and so you would know what its like for a person to be missing, because you are missing from my life. But you seem to be doing just fine without me and that terrifies me and I can't take it anymore.

* I miss the person you used to be. I hate the person you've become but I love YOU. I hate the person I've become. I hate how jealousy always gets the best of me. Yes, I know hate is a strong word but that's how much I strongly hate this.

* I love him and I want to be with him more than anything in the world. I can't, though, because I already have a boyfriend that I am not ready to leave.

* Today, when I saw those girls talking to you, I felt so jealous. What hurts me most is that I have no reason to be jealous because you don't notice them that way. But I just wish I could talk to you like that too. Please, let me in. I promise I won't hurt you.

* I want to tell you how I really feel.. that I love you and it's killing me to see you with her.. but I have a strong feeling in my gut that's telling me you'll just laugh in my face....

* YOU ARE THE BIGGEST FAKE I HAVE EVER MET, YOU'VE MADE UP EVERYTHING I THOUGHT I KNEW ABOUT YOU, EVEN PEOPLE, COMPLETELY SAD. AND NOW THAT YOU REALISE WE KNOW IT, AREN'T YOU BEING A LITTLE BITCH ABOUT IT ?

* when you told me you missed me. I worked myself up to believe it meant you really did, every day with every hurtful thing you do I find it so much easier to dislike you that bit more.
you’re not half the person I thought you were, and part of me wishes you would feel the same hurt I do and think back to now and wish you hadn’t been so cruel. Dreamers often dream thoughts you never knew existed. I didn’t realise just how much I want you back.

(yang gue tulis, ngga ada maksud apa apa kok. Cuma mau ngungkapin aja, jadi kalo ada yang ngerasa. Maaf banget ya *big hugs* :*)

Quotes

I wanted to share some Quotes from http://blogsecret.tumblr.com/. I hope you like :)

ENJOY IT AND HAPPY READING!

* I wish I had told you I loved you.
Every time I remember the fact that you’re moving and I’ll never see you again, I want to hurt myself badly. Maybe then you wouldn’t leave. I regret not telling you that I love you. And even though we can still talk via internet, it will never be the same and I want you to know that I’ll never find anyone else like you and I don’t expect to.

* I'm surrounded by people who say they're my friends, but when it comes down to something important, will you be there for me? I don't think you will. You ditched me before in my time of need, and if you can do something like that once, I have no doubt you can do it again.

*  The reason I restricted my calories and lost weight so fast was because I wanted you. Now that I'm a size smaller, but eating well again, I'm terrified of putting on all the weight I lost. But things with you haven't changed. I still want you, and you still think I'm invisible.

* The real reason why I wanted to join the military was not because I was patriotic, but because I wanted to get away from the rejection of not having you. I wanted to see if you'll really miss me if I actually left....

* It hurts me a little more inside when you talk to me about how close you are with her and makes me sad when you say that you are keeping things from me. I know that I may not talk that much like she does with you, and I'm sorry about that. You say that I don't get jealous easily, but I really do, even if I don't show it. & I'm scared that if I tell you, you might choose her over me.. I hope you really mean it when you tell me you love me..

* Ever since he broke my heart, I've never been the same.
I don’t have the same passion I used to have. I’ve found a wonderful, amazing guy who likes me but I still find myself straining to grasp this. I don’t want to hope too much, but I already know he’s moving at the end of summer, sent of and I’ll probably never see him again. But, I still want to like him, I want to be happy again. I don’t want to sound like some lovestruck, crazy, typical, dramatic teenager, but it’s true. I find myself wondering if I’ll ever be able to open up again and throw myself into things. What if I never trust people like I trusted him?

* I can't take it. I don't know how I feel about you anymore, but even if I do have feelings or you, you're going to be gone by the end of summer. You're never going to read this, but I really love you as a best friend. But I don't know if we're going to work out like that.

* I told you how much I loved you. you told me you loved me with all your heart. the next couple of days you got yourself a girlfriend. you call that love? I call it betrayal, but the most FUCKED UP thing is... I forgive you

* I hate everything about you. Everything you say is gay ass shit. Please fucking die.

*  I want to still love you, but I can't stand your personality. but I don't want to lose you ---> It's so me!!!!

* I'm unhappy with our relationship, but I can't seem to let you go.

* Seeing you today made me realize how much greater you are than I could ever be. But I love how you are completely oblivious. I need someone like you in my life, especially now.

* I want you, but it seems like everything is holding me back from you. Why do you have to leave so soon?

* I'm in love with my classmates. I was sure he loved me too by the lies he told me. After all the drama we went through, I still cannot stop thinking about you. I tell everyone I don't give a damn about you, but the truth is if you asked me to be with you, I would say yes in a heartbeat. I hate you, because you make me love you.

* I really wish you'd say the words I want to hear.
I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I’m afraid to say anything because I’m afraid you’ll get freaked out. I start to tear up everytime I write something on tumblr about you, or think about it. I’m so unbelievably in love with you. Head over heels in love.
So I’m saying it to you here.
I love you babycakes. I want to be with you, seriously, forever. Please just give us that chance. Your perfect, and I want that part of you I lost back.

* I didn't know who to choose. Now I do. But I'm not going to, because I'm scared it'll be the wrong decision, even though I know it's right...I guess I'm just scared I'll want him back

* I thought we were in love until you left me for her. Now she's not in your life anymore. I knew it wouldn't last long. So we're back at it again. But now as "Friends". Something is telling me I'm being used as a rebound. But I cover those feelings up w/ the simple fact that I'm still in love w/you. I wanna Know where your heart is, but I'm afraid to ask, afraid of the response I'll hear.

* I really like you, but sometimes it feels as if you don't care about me as much as I care about you. You tell me we’re a couple, but it’s hard to believe when it seems like you’re hiding it from everyone. I want to end it with you because I think this is unhealthy for me, I just don’t want to tell you.

* I miss the person you used to be. I hate the person you've become but I love YOU. I hate the person I've become. I hate how jealousy always gets the best of me. Yes, I know hate is a strong word but that's how much I strongly hate this.

* My best friends told me I changed for the worst but never told me in what.I wish I could change but this is who I am now and if they're my friends they would love me no matter what.

he's back

he's back to me.
yes yes, he's back after 4 days we broke up.
he says he still loves me.
when he said it, I'm very happy.
he held my hand, he hugged me, he kissed me.
aaaa, I really love him.
I never want to break up with him again.

6 days after he returned.
we're fighting again.
and you know what's the problem?
still the same problem yesterday.
that is about my closeness with them.
he never understood my relationship with them.

I and they were just friends, until any time would be best friends will not be more than that!

but you keep thinking I'm and they were more than that.
I beg you, believe me.

I am afraid that it now is, we'll broke up 'again'.
honestly, that's all I fear.
I don't want out of you.
You said I had to choose, stay away from them or away from you.
when I heard it, I feel you are very selfish.
I can't choose between you and them.
you and they are just as important to me.

I promise you said it was only 'fake promise'

you are wrong, my promise is not fake promises!

but I need time for a little away from them.
please, give me time for it.
not easy for a bit away from them.
try you were me, what can you stay away from friends who really understand and can make you laugh?
can you stay away from them in a week?
can you? I think not, because I can't like that.I know you're jealous, I know you don't like them, and I also know, you hate when I make friends with them.
actually, it's not your right, to forbid me friends with them, but I was right, to friends with anyone, including them.

you never felt the difficulty away from those people who you care aboutI love them, they are like my own family.
you? you're very important for me and I am very, very loved.
honestly, I wanted to cry.
but now I'm not crying, not for now.
I'll try to keep my promise to a little bit away from them.

Now we do not have communication, it will you.
I will follow you.
You do not need me? I need you.
you want me to stay away from you? I'm sorry I didn't want to.
I too love you.

please give me time for that, I hope you understand

still

1 day after we broke up.

it was the same with yesterday -_-

and I still hoping like yesterday, too.

Stupid I hope things very-very unlikely.

you definitely don't want to come back to me right?

and I really want us to be a relationship again.

hahaha :D

stupid, and I've promised to forget.

but the fact now is, I still continue to write about you.

and still in love with you.

It means it's too hard to forget you :'(

You too difficult for me to forget, it was only yesterday we -__- oh well, forget -_-

You've forgotten me and don't love me anymore like before.

you know? I was watching you from the balcony, but you don't see me.

OK, that's better than I have seen you throw in front of my face.

It would be very painful for me.

I'm afraid you back to her, really. I'm afraid.

My reason is not going to end because I don't want to see you back to her.

I would never willingly if that happens.

I know, I'm selfish like this, but I can't lie to myself.

I love you, and I want you BACK TO ME, not back to her.

You say I'm not trash for you, but now what? you think I'm a bad person.

I know, I was wrong.

I hurted you, but why do you respond to it with with her?

I can't, I couldn't.

I will NEVER be able to see YOU BACK TOGETHER WITH HER -_-

I beg you, please keep your promise this time.

promise you'll never go back to her, please.

I want you to keep your promise to me.

you know? I miss you now.

I miss you say''I love you '

I miss your nag.

concern you, understanding you, your laugh, your voice, all about you.

I want it back, but I realized it was just my dream.

we will never be together again

last time I see you, why my heart hurt?

turns out, I realized that if you are not mine anymore.

ok, stop crying.

I'll tried to move on, wish me luck :'')

broke up :')

today we broke up.

you glad we broke up? I didn't: '(

I'm sad we broke up.

but this want you, I can't do anything else.

you say, you hurt.

you say, I changed.

sorry, I never intend to do that.

you say, I was too close to them.

sorry, but if I had to choose. I prefer them.

they are my best friends.

when I was sad. Who is telling me not to cry? them! NOT YOU! while you? you were happy to see me cry.

Okay, I know I was wrong.

but, have not I've apologized many times to you?

What do you want to listen to my apology?

NO, you don't want to!

maybe you think, I just weepy girl, who could only cry but could not do anything.

provided you know, my friends told me I had to decide our relationship first.

but I don't want, I want to wait until the 14Th February, Valentine's Day.

I hope the day we can be better, but it turns out, you decide our relationship today :'(

you know I cry when you say that?

sure you know, but you don't care.

sure you don't care, I know.I'm just a toy for you.

You think I do not really love you? you're wrong.

I really love you until this moment too.

but I don't want to sad all the time, I had to keep my life ;")

I'm just scared, you go back to her

to your ex-girlfriend; '(

if after you break up with me, then you back to her.

indeed, I'll hate you.

I know, you're not mine anymore.

you are free now, you are free to choose anyone who VERY MUCH BETTER than I am.

but I beg you, don't come back to her.

It would be very painful for me.

honestly, I'm just friends with them.

I have no other feelings to them.

I loved them as a friend, but I love you as a boyfriend.

You misunderstand me and them.

but never mind, our relationship has ended.

nothing needs to be explained again.

everything has happened, now I can only hope.

you happy, you easily forget about me, about us.

maybe for you, it's very easy

but for me not.

I need a lot of time to forget you.

remember my promise to you first? I promise I will not forget you till whenever. I'll keep my promise, I will not forget you.

you know, until now I was hoping we could date again.

HA HA HA, I knew it was just my dream, you don't want to come back to me.

you already bored and no loves me anymore, I stupid think like that.

I'll try not to cry for you, because once you've told me not to cry ;")

I have to remember, many people who loved me, but who understand me just you ;'(

Tasha okay, don’t cry anymore

thank you for everything, all the memories, all love, all the attention and understanding. That means a lot to me.

Let me be honest this time, For the last time, I just wanted to say "I love you"

nieno goodbye, I always loved you ;'(