my song

Leona Lewis - Happy

Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose
You can’t have everything

Don’t you take chances
You might feel the pain
Don’t you love in vain
’cause love won’t set you free

I can’t stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy
But safe as could be

So what if it hurts me?
So what it I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge,
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
I just trying to be happy
I just wanna be happy, yeah

Holding on tightly
Just can’t let go
Just trying to play my role
Slowly disappear

But all these days
They feel like they’re they’re same
Just different faces
Different place
Get me out of here

I can’t stand by the side
Ooh, no
And watch this life pass me by
Pass me by

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge?
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
I’m just trying to be happy

Oh, happy
Oh

So when it turns that I can see???
This rope??
Victim??
Don’t say anything

Officially Missing You - Tamia

All I hear is raindrops
Falling on the rooftop
Oh baby tell me why’d you have to go
Cause this pain I feel
It wont go away
And today I’m officially missing you
I thought that from this heartache
I could escape
But I fronted long enough to know
There ain’t no way
And today
I’m officially missing you

Oh can’t nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do
Hey baby say it stays on my mind
And I, I’m officially

All I do is lay around
Two years full of tears
From looking at your face on the wall
Just a week ago you were my baby
Now I don’t even know you at all
I don’t know you at all
Well I wish that you would call me right now
So that I could get through to you somehow
But I guess it’s safe to say baby safe to say
That I’m officially missing you

Well I thought I could just get over you baby
But I see that’s something I just can’t do
From the way you would hold me
To the sweet things you told me
I just can’t find a way
To let go of you

It official
You know that I’m missing you
Yeah yes
All I hear is raindrops
And I’m officially missing you

I'm sorry

I apologize for making you jealous, I n-e-v-e-r mean to do it. N-E-V-E-R

Sorry I made you cry, ohmy I'm so sorry girl. I feel very guilty to you now -_-

ya allah, maafin gue deh ya udah bikin lo kaya gitu.

demi apapun deh, ngga pernah ada maksud gue bikin lo kaya gini -_-

maaf semaaf maafnya ya :(

the truth is 'gue sayang dia' tapi karena dia kakak gue.

ga lebih dari sayang gue ke temen2 yang lain.

kalo lo baca post gue yg sebelum ini, lo tau perasaan gue gimana.

gue yakin lo ngga bakal kaya gini.

kalo lo tau sayang gue ke siapa, maafin gue deh, gue tuh ngga pernah maksud kaya gini.

gue deket ya cuma sebagai kakak adek kok ga lebih, tolong percaya sama gue.

keep friendly oke?

I'm so sorry, gue akan coba ngejauh mungkin

I miss

I miss my own Austin so damn much

I miss my 23

I miss someone who gave me this doll

I miss someone who gave me a surprise on my birthday

I miss someone who called me every night

I miss someone who says 'good night honey, I love you so much'

Honestly, I miss everything about you, about us

but now, austin NOT mine anymore, 23 = DEAD.

yayaya, dia bukan punya gue lagi. sadar lu tash! mimpi mulu -_-

tapi sekarang, I really miss my Austin -_-

emang sih lo beda banget sama Austin yg di Titanium, but for me, you're my Austin.

that's why I miss you <3 div="">

kangen b-a-n-g-e-t.

tau kangen ga lu? tau ga? kangen gue sama lu :p

sadar ga? nggak ya? yasudahlah kalo ngga sadar.

malah lebih bagus lo ngga sadar ya daripada lo sadar gue malah sakit hati -_-

lo kan udah move on, lo ngata2in gue malah.

oke, lo ngatain gue bales ngatain.

itu baru adil! lo yg mulai, tapi gue ngga nyangka aja lo bisa sejahat itu sama gue.

sumpah deh, tapi tenang aja gue bisa bales kok *tapi kalo gue bisa ya -_-*

I miss you - Boyz II Men

I've been feeling this emptiness for sometime
Trying make do
But my world has been so crazy
Living without u
I'm a man not ashamed to admit my falls
Now that I know
But the only thing that matters now I should have never let u go
Now every night before I go to sleep, I pray That the lord would someday some how
Send u back my way
Baby I miss u I need to be back in your arms
I've never stopped loving u
My heart is where u belong
Baby I miss u
And for heaven and earth pass away
Lord please show me what to do
Tell me what to say
Cause we've come to far to let it slip away
Cause we've come to far to let it slip away
Couldn't understand many things in my life
And what u meant to me
Now I'm prepared to be everything that a man Is suppose to be
I don't wanna be alone no more
So then my heart can take it
That weeks have past
Since you've been gone
That I've thought that I could make it
Oh baby
So every night before I go to sleep, I pray
That the lord would one day somehow
Bring u back my way

Baby I miss u
I need to be back in your arms
I've never stopped loving u
My heart is where u belong
Baby I miss u
And for heaven and earth pass away
Lord please show me what to do
Tell me what to say
Cause we've come to far to let it slip away
Cause we've come to far to let it slip away

Baby don't know what else to say or do
Its hard to get through every night and everyday
Knowing I had u walk away
Its killing me inside
Feeling so strong I can't hide
So lord help me get through trying times
I'll do anything to have u back in my life
Baby I miss u
I need to be back in your arms
I've never stopped loving u
My heart is where u belong
Baby I miss u
And for heaven and earth pass away Lord please show me what to do
Tell me what to say
Cause we've come to far to let it
Baby I miss u
I need to be back in your arms
I've never stopped loving u
My heart is where u belong
Baby I miss u
And for heaven and earth pass away
Lord please show me what to do
Tell me what to say
Cause we've come to far to let it
Baby I miss u

*that song for you*

after

HELL-O!
eh iya, gue mau ngasih tau kalo gue putus lagi dengan "you-know-who" --> belum tau? baca post gue sebelumnya.
oh iya, FYI gue milih pilihan yang ke 3. gue bilang kan gue maunya milih yang 1, tapi kenyataannya gue malah milih yang ke 3.
tanya kenapaaaaaaa? KARENA dia sudah kelihatan tidak sayang lagi kepadakuuu~
nah terus kan kalo pacaran harus saling sayang kan? iya kan?
tapi kalo yang satu udah ngga sayang sama yg lain jadinya apa? makan hati kan?
ujung2nya kalo di pertahanin apa? putus juga kan?
kalo putus ujung2nya apa? lo seneng kan? lo bebas kan?
dan yg paling sering apa? gue juga yang NANGIS kan?
nah lho, sama aja kan ujung2nya?
daripada gue nangis nya terus2an tiap hari sampe mata gue bengep, mending sekarang selesainya. lo seneng kita selesai, gue? nangis mah pasti TAPI ngga se-histeris dulu.
nah, berarti sekarang anda bebas dong? iya sekarang saya juga bebas main sama sahabat2 saya tanpa takut anda marah atau anda cemburu.
tapi sayangnya, saya masih sayang anda -_-
lah bego lu tash kalo masih sayang kenapa diputusin! tulul!
ya abis gimana, kan tadi saya bilang dia sudah tidak sayang saya lagi -_-
dan dia kira gue mau move on ke 'one of my friend' yg bernama blablabla.
hello boy, gue tuh ngga suka ya sama dia, kalo gue suka mah udah dari kemaren2 gue pacarin, tapi sekarang apa? gue masih sayang kan sama lo, walaupun lo benci sama gue!
gue ngga bisa benci lo kaya lo benci gue, gue bilang gue mau move on, tapi susah taugalu? apalagi liat lo tiap hari -_-
gue maunya tuh kita putus bisa jadi temen, tapi apa? lo malah remove acc gue, lo malah benci gue. kalo tau kaya gini mungkin lebih baik gue ga usah kenal lo kali ya -_- but, thanks for teaching me that love does exist.

abis putus gue langsung baca 4 buku *sebenernya ngga ada hubungan juga sih*
1. Titanium *again*
2. Autumn In Paris
3. Hai Miiko!
4. Reffrain
tapi entah kenapa abis putus baca 4 buku itu langsung gue mikir 'mau ya punya pacar kaya cowok yg ada di novel itu' ea ngayal abis.

di buku Titanium, ada cowok namanya Austin, ah gila ngarep banget gue punya cowok yg baiknya nauzubileh kaya dia *oke berlebihan* dia tuh orangnya "talk LESS do MORE" ga banyak omong, tapi sekali ngelakuin bisa bikin speechless. Kalo cowok sekarang "talk MORE do LESS!" makanya romijn itu beruntung banget dapet cowok kaya austin *yaiyalah siapa yang ngga mau*

di buku ke2, yaitu autumn in paris, ada cowok namanya Tatsuya, ohmy ini orang bener-bener 1 diantara sejuta kali yak o_O setia parah, terus rela berkorban, dia lebih baik dia yang sakit daripada harus ngeliat Tara nangis, jarang banget kan cowok kaya gitu? yang ada sekarang cowok malah kebanyakan bikin cewek nangis.

buku ke3 adalah komik Hai Miiko, di komik ini ada Tappei. Ya walaupun dia itu jail banget sama miiko, tapi sebenernya tuh dia sayang sama miiko, cuma gengsi aja nunjukin nya. kalo miiko susah tappei tuh selalu ada, nih S-E-L-A-L-U ada, bahkan waktu miiko ngga bilang ke tappei kalo dia butuh tappei, tapi tappei selalu siap sedia buat miiko.

dan yang terakhir adalah reffrain, disini ada Nata. Nata sama Niki itu sahabatan dari kecil, nata tuh selalu sayang niki, tapi niki gatau kalo sayang nya nata itu lebih dari sahabat, nata sampe bikinin lagu buat niki teris dikirim pas hari valentine, tapi niki gatau kalo itu dari nata, pas nata pergi ke amrik baru deh niki sadar kalo sebenernya dia tuh sayang banget sama nata. dan ternyata nata balik dari amrik dan dia masih sayang sama niki walaupun udah kepisah 5 tahun, sayangnya buat niki ngga berubah sedikitpun.

SEE? betapa jarangnya cowok kaya mereka! kalo mau lebih lengkap mending baca deh bukunya *PROMOSI*

sampai disini dulu ya postingnya, bubye~

3 choice

I got 3 choices for our relationship, especially for you.

1. we continue our relationship, but we both changed.

2. we break for a while, and we continued again, wait until you're not bored

3. we end our relationship.

I certainly don't want to choose option number 3, I choose option 1.

but you?

I'm sure you want to try option 3.

What don't you ever feel?

I'm tired you like this, you don't notice me, not giving me attention, you didn't care about what happens to me, you don't give me a message or call.

like you don't need me anymore.

I can't say this directly in front of you, I can only write it, because I know if I say directly to you, you must think I'm selfish and you'd be mad.

YOU WRONG! you are selfish!

you know? s-e-l-f-i-s-h!

you are too childish

you are only concerned with what you feel, but you never think how I feel.

hey boy, I'm your girlfriend, not your toy.

I have a feeling, I have a heart.

you should be thinking "a little" about my feelings.

yesterday, I really need your help, but you can't, you don't exist,

What I never asked for help? Why would I ever?

I only ask you to accompany me to go, only that

but what? what you can?

NO! you can't!

you know? at the time yesterday that I feel you don't love me anymore.

as we celebrate 4 months, you don't speak to me at all.

"I love you, I want us to lasting 'blah, that's a BIG bullshit!

I don't need the words, I just want you to indicate "yes, I need you, I care about you"

only that

I guess you want us to break again, ohmy I do not want it: (

but what the hell am I like this, you wouldn't care. I want to follow you, oh please I don't cry, it's too much pain and tears that I give to you.

Please, tell me the truth

I hate myself for wanting to give up on you.

You make me feel like I can’t do anything. But I’ll keep going because I don’t want to hurt you, even if this relationship hurts me. I love you.

yeah this is my frontal emotions.

I have not been posting in this blog, and I miss it so much :*

can you see my words above?

I gave it to HIM.

I hope he realized.

Honestly, I was afraid to upset him, I know this is unhealthy, because then I would budge.

many people asking to me 'What are you tired of not budge?'

Honestly, I'm tired like this.

I tired to continue to beat you.

What you don't realize?

You treat me like complete shit all of the time, even though I’m your girlfriend.

It sucks, because when I fell in love with you, you were the sweetest boy alive and well now I can’t seem to fall out of love with you but at the same time I get hurt emotionally by you everyday. I don’t know what to do. A part of me is saying I should break up with you and another part is saying that I can’t live without you. I don’t know what to do, all I know is that I WILL NEVER STOP LOVING YOU.

I know you probably don't love me anymore, bored with me, and you already don't get along with me. Right?

I KNOW IT! though you never told me, I know that.

you change, you don't love me anymore.

This is fact that I know and I feel.

Forget about it, I'm T-I-R-E-D!

I just know you like it :')

Honestly, I feel guilty to one of my friends.

She likes my friend, who happened to be close with me.

to be honest, I NEVER meant to hurt you, N-E-V-E-R! I'm so sorry :(

I'm just a friend with him, I love him, but just a FRIEND.

and if you like him, approach him :)

I think, he'll respond you.

I apologize for my attitude toward it is to make you jealous, I'm sorry.

- ♥ -

♥ People say I'm too good for you. That I know, but I also know that I have a chance of being different and making you settle down for just one girl.

♥ I can't accept the fact that I did nothing wrong but you just need to be alone. Don't fucking let me off easy, I want to know the truth.

♥ I'm sick of all these secrets saying "I LOVE YOU, BUT YOU DON'T LOVE ME" people like you DESTROY the word, it has absolutely no meaning anymore.

You don’t know when you’re in love it just happens & I’m sick of people being in a relationship for not even a week & claiming there in love?! what has this world come too? please stop posting secrets like those, it makes me sick. here is a new secret. I LIKE someone, whom doesn’t LIKE me back

♥ I honestly feel like you deserved better than me. I just wish you would understand that was the reason i was so mean to you. And now that I think about what was said, I feel terrible.

♥ I know I dont know much about love, but there's a person that is better than that.

I love him. He is mine and I am his. We are perfect (no kidding). But I am so afraid of losing this because I want this to last FOREVER<3 span="">